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An Introspective and Humorous Look at Cole Hamels: Part One

Published by on April 21, 2009
Article Source: Bleacher Report - MLB

So who is Cole Hamels? Well, Wikipedia defines Cole Hamels as "a left-handed starting pitcher who plays for the Philadelphia Phillies of Major League Baseball."

Yeah, but who is the real Colbert Michael Hamels?

Hamels is really 100 feet tall. He just shortened himself to Major League standards. That way, hitters might have a chance in the batter's box against him.

DNA tests will conclusively prove that Jamie Moyer is Hamels's great-great grandfather.

The fact is Hamels is more than a person. He is a myth and legendary folk figure. I mean how else could someone outpitch Steve Carlton before they were born?

Could it be that Hamels is a mythic figure like Odysseus or Achillies? I...

Read Complete Article at Bleacher Report - MLB
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