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Fantasy Baseball Killed My Pet Turtle

Published by on May 25, 2009
Article Source: Bleacher Report - MLB

Coach Chris Murphy sent out an open invitation for hitters who felt they were doing well to meet in his office on Sunday.  We at Bleacher Report put a balding midget in a Red Sox uniform to pose as Dustin Pedroia to get the inside scoop.

Murphy started the meeting by explaining how a couple years ago his turtle, Bubba, had died due to lack of nourishment stemming from Fantasy Baseball-related stress. Murphy struggled to get through his speech, choking up a few times, but explained to his players that due to their play, all animals in his house were fed and loved as they should be. 

Except Isabelle, the annoying fat-ass guinea pig, who refuses to stop squeaking.

Murphy, showing strange amounts o...

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