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Mets Write Polite Letter to Marlins Reminding Them to Lose (Satire)

Published by on April 23, 2009
Article Source: Bleacher Report - MLB

A letter from the New York Mets was delivered today to the Florida Marlins club offices in Miami. It was written by Mets manager Jerry Manuel, on behalf of his team. Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria gathered his club together in the locker room so that he could read the heartfelt letter to them. It read as follows:

Dear Florida Marlins,

I am writing you on behalf of my players here who you have painfully embarrassed through the first three weeks of the season. Do you guys like being mean? Is that it? You have no payroll and no big stars, yet you are out here knocking down my innocent players into fourth place? This is supposed to be where you guys are right now, and you're making us all look bad.

My poor guys d...

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